We all love our children, but we don’t always tell them, do we? Children’s motivation and sense of self develop through positive communication. Using Praise effectively can help this process. Research shows that Praise, encouragement and favourable time will help promote positive behaviour. Here are several suggestions for using it effectively in your day-to-day parenting.
Be specific and make its behaviour clear and use it immediately.
Vague Praise does not work, such as:
- “great job”,
- “you are doing fine”.,
- “well done”.
Effective and behaviour-specific Praise would be:
- “I am pleased you said thank you.”
- “Thanks for keeping your hands to yourself.”
- “Oliver, I like how you shared your digger with your brother.”
If you praise straight away, it will have a full impact. Delayed Praise is better than no praise at all.
Be enthusiastic.
No one wants to hear something in dull tones with no contact or expression, emphasis using non-verbal cues such as smiling, hugging and patting.
Be appropriate.
It is crucial it behaviour specific and appropriate, so it’s not going to be effective if they are sharing crayons but drawing on the wall. Wait until there is something constructive so you can be accurate and not praise for the sake of it. Try to focus the Praise on mastering their skills rather than personality.
Avoid using Praise after put-downs.
I am sure we have all sat at work appraisals when we have had negative feedback and then some praise; it never feels good, does it? An example is, thanks for making your bed; why don’t you do it every day then? This does not reinforce the positive behaviour you want to see.
Here are some statements you can use now:
- I like it when you do
- It would help if you felt proud of
- You played well, and I liked the way you shared your toys
- Pat yourself on the back for dressing yourself this morning
- It pleases me when you tidy up the toys after playing.
- I noticed you helped your brother to do…I like that, Jamie.
Don’t worry if your child rejects it first; keep going, and you may want to praise them in front of other adults, too; this may help them to receive more. It’s great that you want to promote positivity in your parenting. With Love Catherine
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