Well, we are nearly there, well done for surviving so far. Christmas can be exciting, fun and full of joy. I am sure your children are wondering what Santa is going to bring. Your teenagers are probably looking forward to some money to spend on what want. You may be getting ready for the in-laws/family to stay or you may be going to theirs. It all sounds good but we all know that life isn’t perfect is it.
You might be starting to feel a sense of dread about whether the children will sleep or eat the food that’s been cooked by someone else, you may be divorced and have to manage with very little time, or you may not even see your children for Christmas and have to wait for another day in the holidays.
With a bit of careful planning, you can ride through the holidays to the new year!
Here’s how:
Christmas holidays are fun and exciting but try not to drop your routines. Of course, you want to be a bit flexible on Christmas day etc, but they will have structures and routines, special times and rewards. If you are away, let family and friends know what your routines are before you go. Agree on a plan each day, so children know what’s going to happen and what’s expected of them. Ensure there are activities. They may get bored especially if you are in someone else’s home. So you could offer 10 minutes of Special Time with you, I know this will prevent them from seeking your attention negatively. Many children and parents can be anxious away from home, this can be all kinds of reasons. For you and them, offer then a step by step plan of the day such as:
- Where they are going, you know that children are still developing executive functioning skills such as planning, organization and sequencing.
- Who they will have to say hello to, ( have photos, or a video just to remind them)Any new rules, at Joe’s house, they do this, they eat at this time.
- You can do this every day right after breakfast at the hotel, at home or at your relatives. For any unfamiliar foods, let your host know what your children eat and don’t eat.
- Ask your children to try anything unfamiliar, don’t sweat it if they don’t. If they want lots of sugar, agree on what they can eat each day and then stick to your rules. Give them rewards for “no moaning”, ( do an award ceremony, make it fun)
- If they misbehave, have a plan ( before you go, be clear what the family rules are at Christmas such as Time in, tell them what you are going to do, say you may take them out for 1 minute per each age! and hurt feelings.
- Empathize with them, when you know you are taking them to another event.
- Do not give them too much choice, I guess they have to learn that there are some things we have to do and avoid using bribery for this.
- If you are divorced, try not to mention/blame the other partner and if you need to take them to your ex and this is difficult then ask a friend or family member to intervene on your behalf. Acknowledge it is hard for them, not having mummy and daddy together. Ask them what might help them.
Good luck!!! I hope you can put your feet up too,
I hope 2016 has been kind to you and wish you a very happy Christmas and New Year for 2017. With love Catherine
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