Consequences help children foster decision-making, learn from their mistakes, and be accountable. If there are no boundaries or products, it can make your child feel uncontained, unsafe and out of control. It can be understandable why some children push you to initiate one.
When initiating consequences, do you often worry about getting it wrong or stress your child may become out of control? Are you often inconsistent, so your children ignore you? Do you often say oh, this time, I will let this go and constantly make excuses to your partner? This is an excellent way for your children to think you don’t mean it. In today’s blog, we will avoid the tendency to let it slide and hope you can follow through. I will explain two types of consequences and my top eight tips for using them effectively to prevent nagging and have cooperative children.
I will explain two types of consequences and my top eight tips for using them effectively. Let’s prevent nagging and have cooperative children.
Many Parenting There are two types of consequences:
- Natural
- Logical
A natural consequence is when a child breaks a toy, she will have no toy or - If your child does not eat their meal, then they will be hungry until the next
- if the water is splashed over the bath, then bath time will end
You design logical Consequences as a negative consequence of their misbehaviour, and these are several examples for children in their middle years and teenage years
Examples are:
- Loss of TV
- Going to bed early
- Loss of computer time
- Loss of video games
- Time in or in the big feeling tent (I wouldn’t say I like Time Out as most of the children I work with are generally anxious, it is one minute per age )
Consequences for Teenagers
- My mobile phone was taken away for one night
- Earlier curfew
- Loss of social media time
- Not being able to use the x box for a night
- Not being able to attend a sleepover
Here are eight tips to make them effective:
- Make them age-appropriate, and a child may not be able to perform their end of the bargain because the consequence is unreasonable.
- Use them immediately if possible.
- Ensure that they are not for a week long or longer. Children’s capacity to retain information is less than ours. This is due to their unfinished brain. Research shows that telling them they can’t use their toy or are grounded for two weeks is ineffective, and the consequence will become meaningless.
- Be authoritative, calm and friendly. Being aggressive and critical can defeat the purpose. ( I know that’s hard, but sometimes we have to pretend)
- Use thinking words. Instead of the usual fighting words. e.g. Well, things look difficult right now. When you can get to the point of asking nicely, I will listen, then walk away. Fighting words Oh, another lousy mood, here we go again; if you knew what we did for you, you are ungrateful. The former will make him think, and the latter will create further conflict.
- Make them consistent, short and to the point. Try not to make threats or a power struggle.
- Give your child them ahead of time in a family meeting. They need to be initiated when everyone is calm and relaxed. Inform them of what’s expected of them at home and outside.
- Involve your children in a family meeting, and you can give them choices as long as they are reasonable. Sometimes it’s alright for some children to have different rules and consequences/
I am hoping this brings some peace and calm. Don’t withhold positive outcomes such as praise and a memorable time. Don’t forget to initiate these in a family meeting; I have a free PDF on Family meetings and Rules on my Facebook page; please share and like the support.
Happy Parenting with love, Catherine
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