As parents, we often know instinctively when something is not right with our child. A shift in their energy, a withdrawal from things they used to love, a heaviness that was not there before. Trusting that instinct matters.
Periods of sadness are a normal part of childhood and adolescence. But when low mood persists, deepens, and begins to affect daily life, it may be more than ordinary sadness. Depression in children is real, it is more common than many people realise, and it responds well to early support.
How common is it?
According to NHS England, one in five children and young people aged eight to sixteen had a probable mental disorder in 2023, a significant increase from previous years. Depression is among the most common, and teenage girls are approximately twice as likely as boys to experience it.
These figures have increased significantly since the COVID pandemic. The Children’s Society reports that the likelihood of young people having a mental health problem has risen by fifty percent in the last three years alone. The isolation, disruption, and loss of that period left a mark that many children and young people are still carrying.
What is also clear is that many children with depression do not access support. They go unrecognised, unsupported, and often carry the weight of it alone for far longer than they should.
What depression can look like in children
Children do not always show depression the way adults do. Younger children in particular may not have the words or the self awareness to say they feel hopeless or sad. Instead it shows up in behaviour, in the body, and in a quiet withdrawal from life.
You might notice regressive behaviour, acting younger than their age, clinginess, or thumb sucking returning. Frequent tearfulness or becoming upset easily. A loss of interest in things they used to love. Social withdrawal, avoiding friends or family. Changes in appetite. Difficulty concentrating or keeping up at school.
Physical symptoms are common too. Tummy aches, headaches, and other physical complaints without a clear medical cause are often the body expressing what the mind cannot yet put into words.
Sleep is almost always affected. Difficulty falling asleep, waking in the night, sleeping excessively, or dreading bedtime are all common. Sleep and mood are deeply interconnected, and a child who is not sleeping well will find everything harder to manage. You can read more about supporting anxious and low mood children at night in my free guide When Darkness Comes.
The most important thing to watch for is any talk of hopelessness, feeling like life is not worth living, or wanting to disappear. Take this seriously and seek support straight away.
What causes depression in children
Depression rarely has one clear cause. It is usually a combination of factors working together.
Stressful life events play a significant role. Bereavement, bullying, family breakdown, conflict at home, moving school, or feeling isolated from friends can all contribute. A family history of mood disorders increases vulnerability. And the relationship between attachment, early adversity, and depression is well established. Children who have experienced emotional neglect, insecure attachment, or significant early stress are at higher risk.
Neurodivergent children, particularly those with ADHD or autism, are also more vulnerable to depression, often as a result of the cumulative stress of navigating a world that does not always make space for how they are wired.
Depression is not a character flaw and it is not caused by bad parenting. But the relationships around a child are also part of what helps them through it.
How you can help
Trust your instincts. If something does not feel right, it probably is not.
Stay close without pressure. Sit with them, even in their room, without expecting them to talk. Your presence matters more than your words. Connection before conversation.
Maintain gentle routine. Mealtimes together, familiar rhythms, small anchors of normality all help a struggling nervous system feel less adrift.
Wonder out loud rather than asking direct questions. I wonder if things have been feeling heavy lately is easier to respond to than are you depressed. You can read more about this approach in my blog on anxiety and what to look for.
Reach out to school. Teachers and school counsellors see your child every day and can be important allies.
Sleep and depression
Sleep and depression feed each other in ways that are often underestimated. A depressed child struggles to sleep. A child who is not sleeping becomes more vulnerable to low mood. Breaking that cycle is often an important part of recovery.
If sleep is significantly disrupted alongside low mood, a sleep consultation may be a useful starting point alongside other support. It is not just about sleep hygiene. It is about understanding what the nervous system needs to feel safe enough to rest.
You can read more in my free guide When Darkness Comes which addresses sleep difficulties in the context of anxiety and low mood.
When and how to seek support
If you are worried, do not wait. You do not need to be certain your child is depressed to reach out for support. If something feels wrong, that is enough.
Go to your GP in the first instance. They can refer to CAMHS or other services and will take your concerns seriously. If your child has said anything about hopelessness, not wanting to be here, or feeling like life is not worth living, seek support the same day. You can call 111 or go to your Accident and Emergency at your local hospital.
In Bristol, Off the Record offers free therapy for young people and is a wonderful local resource. Young Minds has good information and support for parents trying to understand what their child is going through.
The most effective treatments for depression in children include talking therapies, particularly CBT for older children and young people. For younger children, play therapy, sand play, and family focused approaches are often more appropriate and more effective. Medication may be considered in more severe cases and is always a decision made with a specialist.
Work with me
I work with children and young people experiencing low mood and depression, and with the parents trying to support them. For younger children I offer play therapy and the World technique. For older children and teenagers, talking therapy adapted to where they are and what they need.
I also offer sleep consultations for children where sleep and mood are intertwined, and support for parents who want to understand what is happening and how best to help.
Diagnosis is not something I offer. If you are concerned your child may be depressed, your GP is the right first step. But if you would like support alongside that process, or someone to think it through with, please do get in touch.
You can reach me via my contact page.
Free resources
Understanding Your Child’s Guard Dog Brain
All free to download.
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With warmth,
Catherine
Resources:
MindED great resource for parents and teachers
