It’s time for the return of the morning routines, and the back-to-school season is here. Do you have that sinking feeling? Do you feel that you must constantly nag your children to get up, remember their kit, or even leave the house on time? Here are some simple ideas to transform your mornings.
Review your mornings; what do you want to achieve?
It would be easy for me to tell you what you should do with your routine, but what do you want to change? An intense routine is a routine that works for you — it sets your day so that you and the whole family feel motivated for the rest of the day. Write down what’s problematic. Could it be:
- Waking up
- Breakfast
- Getting dressed
- Finding a school kit, shoes, bags, and homework
- Getting out the door on time
- Separation anxiety and struggling with transitions
Pick one and have a family meeting to discuss it first. Let’s take each difficulty in order.
Working with waking up, have an alarm clock.
An alarm clock is a pretty grown-up thing. In my experience, children covet them. You could allow them to choose one, but on one condition:
If you do not use it, you lose it!
Some children do not eat much at breakfast, or they eat slowly. This could highlight their anxiety about separating; I will address that later. Why don’t you let them choose a healthy breakfast for a week or implement a reward chart? Could your children take turns in being breakfast monitors?
Transform Breakfast Times
Getting dressed
It is too easy to do everything for your child if you are in a rush. Choose and put out the clothes for the morning as part of your bedtime routine.
Kit woes
How much time do you spend looking for a kit, homework, shoes or bags? Stop the chaos, and create a bench or place in the house where all essentials are kept. Keep it there at all times. In addition, create a tick list to put just before the door. Instead of nagging, you can point to the list.
Here is an idea below:
Transform getting out of the door on time.
- Skip the screen time. You’re trying to get your children to move faster, right? Please don’t give them a reason to zone out over their cereal. Keep the TV and tablets off until everyone is completely ready to go.
- Instead of screens, how about putting on some music with a happy beat?
- Appoint a leader; each week, one of the children is responsible for getting everyone else ready ( of course, this depends on their age and developmental stage). You want at least one child on your side.
- Ensure cuddles before you go. This will help the transition if your child is anxious or worried. I see many children and parents who struggle to separate. This may need to be tenderly addressed; you might say some words such as:
“I wonder if, or maybe you might be worried about starting school
How can I help you, would it help to…….”“I can understand you might be feeling…..and you have to go to school, you are going to be really well looked after by….”
“I know when you get into the class, you are ok and safe”
“Maybe you are worried about mummy, mummy has lots to do at home”
More on separation anxiety and transitions.
Let them be late
Sometimes we have to allow children to take responsibility for their actions. If it is problematic and is not anxiety, you could arrange with the teacher that they might be late. Arranging a home and school reward for being on time maybe even better.
Make weekends memorable, and stay connected.
It’s a good idea not to stray too much from the routine on the weekends. Please still ensure your kids are getting enough sleep, but you can enjoy the more relaxed pace by making a special breakfast or having storytime before doing the usual routine, like brushing your teeth and brushing your hair. You can even start a special weekend tradition like cooking breakfast together. Don’t forget to give your children special time at the weekends too.
Remember
- Does your routine work for you? If not, change it slowly. Focus on one task.
- Do you need more time in the morning before the rush, i.e. a coffee in bed?
- Can you do some tasks the night before?
To summarise
Lastly, it’s a new term; remember to say I love you no whatever you do or say forever. When your child knows they are loved unconditionally no matter what, the connection and attachment between you will be secure for life, and everything is much easier. I hope the mornings are transformed. If you need more help, contact me for a consultation.
