Six weeks of school holidays is a lot for any family, and if your child has sensory sensitivities, that stretch can bring extra challenges. Holidays are, at their heart, a transition, out of routine, out of term-time structure, and some children feel that shift more than others. If transitions are generally hard for your child, my blog Back to School: Anxiety, Transitions and How to Help covers this territory in more depth, and much of it applies just as well going into the holidays as coming out of them.
Left unmanaged, this stretch can build toward real sensory overwhelm. Here are ten tips to help make the holidays feel more manageable, for your child and for you.
1. Keep your expectations realistic
Everyone needs a proper break, but it’s worth keeping your hopes for the “perfect holiday” realistic rather than idealised, there rarely is such a thing. Relationships that have already been stretched over the year can feel this pressure too, so give yourself permission to lower the bar a little. Expect some regressions and squabbles along the way. Stay calm, stay firm, and be kind to yourself when it’s harder than you’d like.
2. Notice, but resist, the urge to blame
It’s easy to blame a partner or relative when travel goes wrong or a child’s behaviour spirals. Blaming rarely helps in the moment. A few slow, conscious breaths before responding can be the difference between saying something you mean and something you regret. Practising this when things are calm makes it much more available when things aren’t.
3. Identify what’s actually worrying your child during the summer holidays
New activities, unfamiliar sitters, or relatives your child hasn’t seen in a while can all bring genuine anxiety. Rather than a closed question like “are you worried about holiday club?”, try an open one: “how are you feeling about holiday club?” Once you understand what’s underneath, you can help your child gently move towards it, rather than away from it. If separation is part of what’s coming up, my blog Does My Child Have Separation Anxiety? goes into this further.
4. Build a calm-down rucksack
Pack a small bag of items that genuinely help your child settle when overwhelmed, chosen across the five senses. Noise-cancelling headphones, a fidget toy, a chewy tube, calming music, or a scented rice pouch are all worth trying. Children with sensory difficulties often cannot self-soothe unaided, having familiar comfort items close by makes a real difference. My blog Create a Self-Soothe Box to Enable Calm Down walks through exactly how to build one.
5. Get organised together for the summer holidays
Six unstructured weeks can be genuinely hard to fill well. Try a simple two-column plan together, free activities on one side, paid ones on the other, and bring it to a family meeting rather than deciding it alone. Giving your child a voice in the plan builds real cooperation, and avoids the “can we do X” question being asked ten times a day. It doesn’t need to cost anything to work.
Try asking: is there anywhere you’d like to visit? Is there something you’d like to learn? What do you love doing at home? If we had no money left, what would you still want to do?
6. Protect one-to-one time for everyone during the summer holidays
Build individual time with each child into your planning, and protect time for yourself too. This reduces sibling competitiveness over attention, and it teaches your child something valuable, that parents are individuals with needs of their own too.
7. Create for less
A few favourites: build a scrap sculpture or den from old boxes, tins, and wire, children get enormous joy from this kind of open-ended making. Or try my Play-Doh recipe, mix 4 cups of flour with 2 cups of salt, then combine 1 cup of water, 2 tablespoons of oil, and food colouring separately before gradually adding it to the dry mix. It keeps well in an airtight bag. Water play is another good one, a washing-up bowl with a little washing-up liquid outside can hold a toddler’s attention for a genuinely long time.
8. Set clear rules and boundaries before you travel
Staying with friends or relatives brings its own pressures. Talk through your expectations with your child before you leave, or on the first day, rather than mid-crisis. Keep your usual family rules in place where you can, consistency helps enormously when everything else around your child has changed. If your child finds transitions hard, a portable version of your calm space, a pop-up tent, a familiar cushion, travels well and gives them somewhere safe to retreat to.
9. Make travelling itself easier
For flights or long journeys, small wrapped gifts or activities to open at intervals can help enormously, especially near the end of a long trip. Tell your child clearly where you’re going and how you’ll get there beforehand, and consider books about planes, trains, or cars to build familiarity. For car journeys, a simple reward for cooperative behaviour can head off a lot of bickering before it starts.
10. Agree screen time expectations early before the summer holidays
Have this conversation at the very start of the holidays, not partway through. Some families keep term-time screen limits consistent throughout, others allow a bit more as a holiday treat, either is fine, what matters is deciding together and being clear from the outset.
Wishing you a good summer, and some proper rest too.
Interested in working with me?
If you would like more tailored support for your child or family, I offer one to one therapy for children and young people, therapeutic parenting support for parents, and training and consultation for professionals working with children and families. Please do get in touch if you would like to find out more.
You can reach me via my contact page.
Free resources
Understanding Your Child’s Guard Dog Brain explains what is happening in your child’s nervous system when big feelings take over.
Holding in the Storm is about staying steady as a parent in the hard moments.
When Darkness Comes includes specific support for sleep difficulties and anxiety at night.
All free to download.
Related reading
Back to School: Anxiety, Transitions and How to Help
Family Meetings for a Calmer Summer
Create a Self-Soothe Box to Enable Calm Down
Does My Child Have Separation Anxiety?
And if you would like occasional guidance and support straight to your inbox, you are very welcome to join my newsletter.
With warmth,
Catherine
