I know every parent wants a secure, loving and joyful connection with their child. It makes everything you do worthwhile, doesn’t it! A secure connection is what makes our children co-operate. There are so many ways that you can do this. Here are some simple ideas you can do easily on a daily basis. They could be part of your regular routine.
Strengthen Your Connection by being Physical.
We often underestimate the power of touch. Hugs are essential for connection. Don’t you feel better when someone holds you? Try and hug your child throughout the day. Tousel their hair, nudge up close, lie down with them. Physical contact is just as important to teenagers, they need it too, you just have to choose the moment.
Strengthen your connection by giving your Child a Massage.
We are social creatures and we don’t fully understand the physiological effects of touch, we do know that it increases social bonds and cooperation. Research shows that Oxytocin ( the calm down and social bonding hormone) is released through massage and it decreases the stress hormone. You really don’t need to massage the whole body, feet, back and arms work too Your child will love it and will, in turn, be calmer and more co-operative.
Some Simple Things to Do
We underestimate those small and regular moments of connection that are just as important as a big trip away or a big present. I am a lover of simple things. Simply play and activities. Here is a Facebook post I did some time ago with a few suggestions
Words that Promote Connection
Language is important in relationships. What you say and the tone you use can have an enormous impact on your connection. Here are some phrases to try…
I love you this big ( big open arms)
Make up silly ways to tell them how much you love them
I love you from the earth to the moon and back
You made my day by……
Make up a pet name, yours and thiers ( mine was Toots in my family)
Tell them you missed them when they’ve been away
Tell them your are thinking about them during the day when they are at school.
I am so happy to see you, I’ve been waiting for that smiley face all day
Noone other than you gives such great hugs!I hope this gives you some ideas, do put more on my Facebook page.
Lastly, always say that I love you no whatever you do or say forever. When your child knows that they are loved unconditionally no matter what, the connection and attachment between you will be secure for life. I hope your summer is full of connection and joy.