Bringing up children is tough and despite oodles of knowledge on the web, it can often be baffling and hard.
Parenting provokes so many feelings, love, joy, happiness and at other times we may feel filled with horrible feelings of unworthiness and getting it wrong. I often feel the negativity seeps into us like a horrible grey fog. We might feel heavy, find our thinking dulled, leading to self-criticism and harshness with others. There is probably a complete loss of compassion for ourselves as well as everyone else.
Does this sound familiar, how often do you take a Self- Compassion Pause? Do you ever give yourself some time to go inwards to nourish you! Do you take time to love you?
I believe when we are compassionate, kind and gentle with ourselves, we can then offer this to our children, we offer them the skills to emotionally regulate, what an extraordinary gift! According to Greater Good in Action ( A website for Science Based Practices for a Meaningful Life, this is a great website!) suggest there are lots of benefits of taking a self-compassion pause when you are experiencing something stressful. ( the Buddhists have been practising it for years though)
Some research may suggest that people who treat themselves with compassion may have better emotional health. Greater Good in Action reference a study by Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). They followed an eight-week Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program, which included practicing the self-compassion break. Participants reported feeling greater self-compassion at the end of the program than they had at the beginning. Their self-compassion at the end of the eight weeks was also greater than that of a comparison group that didn’t participate in the program. The MSC participants also reported greater mindfulness and life satisfaction, and lower depression, anxiety, and stress, than the comparison group.
Free Self- Compassion Audio to Manage Negative Thinking Patterns.
I have slightly adapted this from the site above. So this takes just over 8 minutes and this is something that you could do if you are struggling with your parenting that day, you could have a problem breastfeeding, or you’ve been angry with your child and feel bad. You could try this when you have the time or even use it once a week. I think wanting to love and tend to yourself is a radical act and an active rather than a passive choice. So take some time to go inwards today.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for your commitment to the wellbeing of your child and your family and for your willingness to keep learning and growing. Remember: parenting is hard work and you all deserve support. With Much Love and Gratitude Catherine, please share the gratitude and love by sharing and liking my Facebook Page and do contact me to hear about my workshops and consultations.