Family Meetings are one of my favourite positive parenting solutions, and as Family Practitioner, it is very typical to talk within a family context. Many families are unsure if they can integrate them into their routines. This blog will discuss the benefits, how to plan, and my tips for implementing a successful family meeting. Here is my short video; for a more detailed view, read on:
Benefits of Family Meetings:
They are an excellent way for families to communicate regularly, and they will promote and encourage many skills, such as:
- Problem-solving
- Harmony
- Shared decision making
- Setting rules
- Distributing rules fairly
- Thinking about the week ahead
- Listening
- Spending time together
- Settling conflicts
- Praise
It may be essential to assess whether your family is ready to answer some of these questions. Do you feel you have equal power in a two-parent family in a relationship.? In a blended family, can issues be discussed without putting down the step or biological family member? Do you regularly consider your partner’s opinions when making decisions.? Do family members feel they will listen most of the time and that what they say is valued and heard?
If you can say yes to those ( if not, then you may need a neutral mediator, so contact me), then here are my
Tips for Successful Family Meetings:
Plan
Think about what you want to achieve, and have a flexible and open attitude. First, plan activities that everyone will enjoy; you could start at age 4; as soon as your children can talk, always invite everyone. If someone opts out, tell them that you will be making decisions without them and you would rather they be there to contribute. Keep the meeting short, 10 -20 minutes. Have pens and paper so they can colour and draw.
Meet Regularly
Ensure you commit to the same time and day and ensure they are regular; it’s essential that you can model commitment; you need to prioritise them.
Start with praise
always start the meeting, modelling credit and what everyone has achieved that week. You can begin with straightforward plans for the week and fun family get-togethers.
Rotating Chair and Timekeeper
Giving a child an opportunity to be responsible is essential, and it will demonstrate equality and help everyone practice problem-solving skills—however you model in the first instance.
Have a rule that only one person speaks at a time, and you could have a teddy or something to help with this (i.e., anyone who holds the teddy can say). Everyone needs to listen when this occurs. The leader keeps to the topic.
Start with simple house rules.
Ask everyone what changes they would like in the family so everyone can get on better. Write three, but work on one at a time. Try to agree on a consensus. Children are much more motivated to change if they can discuss the solution.
If things get too hot to handle, call a break.
Sometimes there may be conflict, and it could get heated, so call a break for 10 -15 minutes and resume the meeting.
And finally, end with something fun that affirms everyone, such as popcorn, a game, a walk or something everyone enjoys.
Enjoy, and look for the next blog on implementing effective House/Family Rules. With love Catherine
References: http://extension.colostate.edu/topic-areas/family-home-consumer/10-tips-for-successful-family-meetings/ https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/healthy-communication/holding-family-meetings/
