Do your children know what your House/family Rules are? Do you have many or none at all?
Working with hundreds of families, I know that each family has unique rules, and they come in different shapes and sizes. The rule is essential to help your child feel safe and contained. Remember, these can be discussed together in family meetings. Being an Authoritative Parent is the most effective parenting style.
Common examples are:
- Not hurting each other physically
- Fighting and squabbles.
- Phones/screens off at 8 pm.
However, many parents make the mistake of using words like NO… NO MORE… STOP DOING… When you use words like this, your child is not entirely clear about what they need to do differently.
Make Rules Effective by using:
Words that are specific, easy to understand and demonstrate the behaviour you want to see.
If you want no shouting, the rule could look like this:
Quiet, soft voice when talking or responding/answering back
If you want no hitting, the rule could be like this:
Use gentle hands, and name/talk out feelings
If you want to give a time boundary, the rule could look like this:
Be home by 9 ( weekdays ). Text me if you are going to be late ( for teenagers)
Choose your top three rules and work on ONE at a time. Most parents make the mistake of operating on more than one, and it can be overwhelming. And in addition inconsistent. There will probably need to be consequences, too and remember to be effective, and you need to spend time and use praise effectively for your rules to work in the long term.