Anger does get bad press, which makes many parents confused about how to manage it. Being angry is not bad; sometimes, we have excellent reasons for being angry or frustrated. Dealing with tantrums and anger outbursts can be challenging, tiring and exhausting for parents and children. Children often misbehave because they are not very good at speaking about big feelings or having other tools to help them get them out. I was thinking about parents today on some creative solutions to helping their children with anger and frustration. I hope they help and maybe even diffuse a situation.
1. Play the feelings game.
Children manage their feelings better if they know how to talk about them. This takes practice and needs lots of help from parents. The suggested game helps children learn feeling words. Play the feelings mirror game; say a feeling and see if they can show you or you show them.
There are many words for emotions. Go online and look for something that offers a face with a comment. Say a feeling word and ask your child to point to a face that looks like the word, or be creative and draw your own. Be positive about your child’s choice, even if it’s not quite right, and then show which one you would choose. Remember, there are different ways and words to talk about feelings.
Point to a face and ask your child to tell you what he thinks the feeling is.
Ask your child to point to some ‘good’ feelings or feelings that ‘don’t feel good. Ask your child to tell a face that shows how he feels.
Ask your child about when he felt like one of the ‘Feeling Faces’. You can take turns doing this, too.
Ask your child to show you a feeling using their face. Ask your child to say what it feels like, and then you can try to name it. Take turns doing this. Please talk about the situation when they get frustrated or angry. Please help them to identify their feeling and what behaviour isn’t acceptable.
If they are unable to talk about it, help them to express their feeling by:
2. Going into the big feelings tent.
Make or buy a pop-up tent with a nice cushion so all family members can calm down or make a den. It’s one minute for each year of age.
3. Biting a carrot ( sometimes it’s good to be angry and bite into something)
4. Banging it out on a drum
5. Blow it out by using a party popper.
It helps a child to breathe too, and to prevent shouting.
What do you do? There are more such as ripping up tissue or drawing it out using clay. You can put them all in a box and call it your angry tools box.
There are many creative ways, such as ripping up tissue or drawing it out using clay. You can put them all in a box and call it your angry tools box. Don’t forget that you need consequences and boundaries too.
I hope you can try these creative solutions and let me know how it goes. With Love Catherine
