Unfortunately, children are born with an unfinished brain and they have to develop their capacity for self-control/ self-regulation. Research shows that the way that you interact with your child in the early years can have long-term effects on their brain function, chemical balance, and emotional regulation. The Developing Child Institute at Harvard discusses this clearly in this video.
Between the ages 0-7, It is normal for a child to struggle with executive functioning skills such as:
- Organizing time and materials
- Making decisions
- Shifting from one situation to another ( sequencing)
- Controlling emotions
- Inhibition and impulsivity
- Learning from past mistakes
This may explain why they have emotional and behavioral difficulties such as:
- Tantrums, meltdowns
- Hit, bite and kick
- Run into a road or they may not be able to get dressed or follow your instructions.
- They may struggle with their siblings and
- Have difficulties at school
- Be oppositional and defiant.
Even though your child’s brain is developing, your child’s temperament ( a child with a difficult temperament is very difficult for parents to manage), your mental health and their genetic loading may also impact on their emotions and behaviour causing everyone distress or anger.
It’s hard to know when to seek help, there are many reasons why parents seek help from me a trained professional and a mum whose navigated through all the developmental stages. Sometimes parents attend if they feel out of control, disempowered, they have read all the parent books and tried everything but nothing works. Sometimes, they don’t enjoy being with their children and want to improve the relationship. In addition, they would like relationships with families members to improve leading to co-operation and strong connections. They are many ways that you can strengthen your connection, enable co-operation and feel empowered, so do contact me for a consultation