I believe strongly in empowering parents in my clinic room. One of the ways I like to do this is by sharing tools that help your child regulate in times of stress, anxiety, or anger. Sometimes, children need our help to find calm in those difficult moments.
A self-soothe box is a simple, affordable strategy you can use right away.
What is a Self-Soothe Box?
A self-soothe box is simply a decorated shoebox (or any container) filled with comforting items your child can use when they feel upset.
The idea comes from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which focuses on managing and tolerating distress. Children aren’t born with self-control — emotional regulation skills develop gradually into early adulthood (around age 25).
I often use this technique in CAMHS with adolescents who self-harm, but it’s just as effective for younger children, from around age five upwards.
How do I create a Self-Soothe Box?
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Find a shoebox or small container.
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Decorate it together with your child.
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Brainstorm what helps them feel safe, calm, or happy.
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Choose items that engage the five senses:
Touch
- Soft lovey
- Favourite Toy
- Soft materials
- Stress ball
- Pom-Poms
- Hand Cream
- Feathers, soft brush
- Play-doh
Smell
- Something of yours, like an old tee shirt
- Lotion/oil (obviously be careful with younger children)
Vision
- Some photos
- Pictures/postcards of calm
- Funny Pictures
- Mindful colouring
Sound
- A favourite story
- Audio of your voices
- A meditation
- Music
- Animal or nature sounds
Taste (for teenagers and older children only)
- Gum
- Lollipop
- Snack
Using a Self- Soothe Box
When your child is anxious, sad, or angry, encourage them to choose something from the box. Sit with them, if possible, and help them focus mindfully on the object.
The box can also be taken to camp, sleepovers, or anywhere your child might need extra comfort.
Parenting is hard work — but you don’t have to do it alone. Creating a self-soothe box is a simple but powerful way to give your child the tools they need to regulate emotions and feel supported.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for your commitment to the well-being of your child and your family, and your willingness to continue learning and growing. Remember: parenting is hard work, and you deserve support. With Love Catherine
