Autumn, Letting Go in Parenting and Life

Nature is very wise, Autumn is the season where the trees shed their leaves.  They take a break from photosynthesizing and prepare for winter and live off what’s been harvested over summer. Trees then await the arrival of Spring where the cycle begins again and again.

The Autumn season offers a mirror to our own life. It’s an opportunity to look within to see what needs to release of whats outgrown in our lives.

What do you need to let go off?

Why not assess your personal life – is there anything you could let go of? It doesn’t just need to be a process of physical letting go. We can let go of mental habits such as criticizing ourselves, feeling guilty, the feeling that you are a ” bad” parent or even the need be a perfect one!

 

Challenge yourself, does a new neural pathway need to be laid down in terms of your thinking or attitude? What are the roots of your beliefs and attitudes that require your attention?  During the Autumn season, trees know that in order to make room for new growth, they have to let go first. We are no different but most of us know that change is not always easy. We often cling to situations and habits that we know we’ve outgrown years ago.

What does ” letting go” mean to you!

To let go, we have to trust and know that everything will be alright. This means letting go of fear, control and what others may think of us.

Fear can often get in the way of what we truly want in our lives. Within my clinic, parents fear that they’ve damaged their child, or that they’ve made a mistake that will last a lifetime. I’ve said this many times:

“It’s never too late to be a close and connected parent with your children and mistakes are important.

How can our children make a mistake and feel that they’ve learned from it if we never admit to making one! We need to reframe perfection and aim to be good enough.

Release by:

1.  Creating something different

Take some time to think about what kind of family you would like, how would that feel?  What would you do together? Have you asked other family members what they would like too? When I see families, 9 out of 10 children want to spend time together, and its usually doing something simple.

2. Giving yourself some time for you.

Mindfulness, exercise, time with friends. I work with so many parents who give up many things for their children which is fine but it is really important to nurture and look after yourself. This teaches your children an important lesson for self-care. So instead of seeking perfection, focus on seeking balance.

3.Focusing on the positives

What strengths do your family have, what are your strengths, write them down, put them up for everyone to see, its always going to feel better than a long list of rules?

4. Finding support and help

It’s hard to ask for help but there will be others out there waiting to help you. That network is waiting to be built. Be kind with yourself, none of us can everything on our own. When we ask for help, it gives the message to our children that others can be supportive and it really is okay to have needs but does not mean we are needy.

5. Being compassionate

Being compassionate is not about being nice, it’s being alert to our needs and others too. It’s about “truth”. Sometimes we have to honest with ourselves but you always know that you have:

” Everything inside of yourself waiting to be drawn upon to make something new”

 

 

You may be thinking, I am not enough, I don’t have enough, but you have all you need. Use this season to go inwards, release and find something new. You might be surprised. With Love Catherine

 

 

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