Are you ready for Family Meetings?

Family meetings are one of my favourite positive parenting tools, and as a family practitioner, talking within a family context is simply how I work. Many parents are unsure whether they’d fit into their own routine. Here’s why they’re worth it, how to plan one properly, and my tips for making them genuinely successful.

Why family meetings help

They’re a genuinely excellent way to communicate regularly as a family, and they build real skills together: problem-solving, harmony, shared decision-making, setting rules fairly, thinking ahead to the week together, listening, spending time together, settling conflicts, and giving praise.

Are you ready for one?

It’s worth being honest with yourself first. In a two-parent family, do you feel there’s genuine equal power between you? In a blended family, can real issues be discussed without anyone putting down a step or biological family member? Do you regularly take your partner’s opinion into account when making decisions? Do family members generally feel listened to, and that what they say is genuinely valued?

If you can say yes to those, you’re ready to start. If not, it may be worth bringing in a neutral mediator first, do get in touch if that would help.

Tips for a successful family meeting

Plan it properly. Think about what you actually want from it, and stay flexible and open. Include something everyone will enjoy. You can start as early as age four, as soon as your child can talk, always invite everyone. If someone chooses to opt out, let them know decisions will still be made without them, and that you’d genuinely rather they were there to contribute. Keep it short, ten to twenty minutes, and have pens and paper on hand so younger children can colour or draw alongside.

Meet regularly. Commit to the same day and time each week. Modelling that commitment matters, it shows your family this genuinely is a priority, not an afterthought.

Start with praise. Open every meeting by acknowledging what everyone’s achieved that week, before moving into plans for the week ahead or something fun the family can do together.

Rotate the chair and timekeeper. Giving a child real responsibility here matters, it demonstrates equality and builds genuine problem-solving skills, once you’ve modelled how it works the first few times.

One person speaks at a time. A simple rule, and a teddy or object to hold while speaking helps enforce it playfully, whoever holds it gets to talk, and everyone else genuinely listens. The chair’s job is to keep things on topic.

Start with simple house rules. Ask everyone what changes they’d like to see so the family gets on better. Write down three, but work on just one at a time. Aim for real consensus, children are far more motivated to change something they helped decide, rather than something simply handed down.

If it gets too heated, take a break. Conflict can genuinely surface in these meetings sometimes. Call a ten to fifteen minute pause, then come back and pick up where you left off.

End on something fun. Popcorn, a game, a walk together, whatever genuinely affirms everyone and sends the meeting out on a warm note.

Interested in working with me?

If you would like more tailored support for your child or family, I offer one to one therapy for children and young people, therapeutic parenting support for parents, and training and consultation for professionals working with children and families. Please do get in touch if you would like to find out more.

You can reach me via my contact page.

Free resources

Understanding Your Child’s Guard Dog Brain explains what is happening in your child’s nervous system when big feelings take over.

Holding in the Storm is about staying steady as a parent in the hard moments.

When Darkness Comes includes specific support for sleep difficulties and anxiety at night.

All free to download.

References

Colorado State University Extension. 10 Tips for Successful Family Meetings.

Center for Parenting Education. Holding Family Meetings.

And if you would like occasional guidance and support straight to your inbox, you are very welcome to join my newsletter.

With warmth,
Catherine