2019 is coming to a close and 2020 is nearly here. How many of you reached your goals within your parenting and beyond in 2019? If you’re like 92% of people, you won’t have stuck to your resolutions, so this year ( decade) I am going to focus on developing “intentions“. I try to live an intentional life, there are sometimes difficult choices but it is more fulfilling, honest and joyful and I want to encourage you too.
What’s the difference between Intentions and Goals
Goals are focused on the future, therefore they lead to a destination or specific achievement. The shape of it feels defined, either you win or lose. A sense of failure can arise and tell you ” why bother anyway”.
On the other hand, Intentions are in the present moment. Intentions are lived each day, independent of reaching the goal or destination. They are about the inner relationship with yourself and others. Being intentional allows you to focus on how you want to be in the moment, independent of whether you are “winning or losing.” It is often the first thought within you, that ignites the spark of energy that you hold towards moving towards something you want. It is as much about the journey than the destination! It does not mean that you don’t set goals, intentions, and goals can work together. They are a balanced relationship!
Some Simple Examples within Parenting
- Getting more help from family members
- Increasing kindness to self and others
- Spending more time together
- Taking pauses!
- Allowing more gratitude
- Be kind to yourself when setbacks happen
- Having more patience
A Simple Daily Practice.
You could start this in the morning.
- On waking, sit in your bed in a relaxed posture. Close your eyes and connect with the sensations of your seated body. Feel though to your feet or hands, feel your presence within you.
- Take three long, deep, nourishing breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Ask yourself: ‘What is my intention for this morning (or the day)?
If you can check in with yourself throughout the day and ask how your intentions are shaping. There is no right, wrong or failing within this.
Remember to keep it small, according to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. He thinks we underestimate the value of small daily changes and actions, therefore, make your habits small, achievable and compassionate.
What gets in the way of being Intentional?
Life is too busy!
Life is so busy, the space in our lives is always under pressure. It’s hard enough for many of us just to survive, let alone allowing ourselves space to pause and reflect on shaping intentions. In his book Do/Pause, You are not a To Do list, Robert Poynton believes:
When we pause, things change.
Knotty problems untangle themselves. Fresh ideas rise to the surface.
We refresh, rejuvenate, reconnect. We find confidence, clarity, wisdom.
What can I do to Pause?
Even though I have a daily meditation practice, you don’t actually need to meditate to take a pause. You can do so many other things:
- Go for a walk
- Or do whatever works for you. Try not to give it too much shape but see what happens and what intentions arise.
So Happy 2020…
I am wishing you many more days/chances full of “intentions” and “pauses” to enable you to be more conscious in your daily parenting struggles. Happy New 2020. I hope to see you in 2020 at one of my workshops. or contact me for a consultation. With much love and gratitude Catherine