Finding your way through those hot and angry moments can feel as if the moment will never end. We all need support and for many children, breathing or taking a deep breath might not be enough. Here are 15 alternatives:
1. Help your children to talk it out in those Angry Moments
Anger is a primary emotion, so everyone feels it. Always help your children to have an emotional language. You can take it even further by calling anger a “hot state”. Similarly, you can find out the level of the anger by drawing and a thermometer on your wall. You can ask, how hot are you now? Show me, and what can I do to help you to calm down.
2. Move it out
Some children are much more kinesthetic ( The most physical of all the learning styles, kinesthetic learners absorb information best through touch, movement, and motion.) They could:
3. Be a turtle ( or another animal) and calm in their shell
4. Stamp it out
5. Lean and push into a wall ( prevent your child from punching a wall, this is self-harm)
6. Use an exercise strength band, have a tug of war or just let them breathe and pull.
7. Make a self soothe box
It is a box ( shoebox) that can include anything that is used to distract and soothe in times of stress. It originates from DBT ( Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and addresses the need to manage and tolerate distress. You could find a simple shoebox, decorate it with your child. You can then brainstorm with them what helps them to feel calm. It’s good to think of objects that include the five senses, you can find out more here https://bristolchildparentsupport.co.uk/create-a-self-soothe-box-to-enable-calm-down/
8. Colour it out
We have known for many years that the creative arts can help to manage anxiety and help to regulate emotions. A study was conducted by researchers Renee van der Vennet and Susan Serice. Although they used shapes to clour such as Mandala, they found that colouring did indeed help to reduce anxious feelings. You can discover more here: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326009293_Towards_a_Caring_Practice_Reflections_on_the_processes_and_components_of_Arts-Health_Practice
9. Visualise a safe place
Anger can arrive very quickly. and children struggle to think about what to do in those moments. Consequently, sit down in a quiet moment and practice the safe place exercise. During the hot moment, see if you can guide them there. Click below for my meditation.
10. Rip a Tissue or bin bag
I remember doing this with a young person and we laughed. Doing the unexpected and change a moment.
11. Bite a carrot
Sometimes, we need to get our teeth into something, especially if we feel frustrated. A carrot can be a great vehicle for that very purpose.
12. Throw some clay/ Play-Doh
Clay is such an underrated art material. Hence, it’s great to use to move out feelings in those hot moments. In addition, you can make your own play-doh and add some essential oils such as lavender or chamomile.
13. Make a Feelings Wheel
Many children simply don’t know how they feel sometimes. Visual cues are often much more helpful to children than just words. For that reason make a feelings wheel. Try to include a variety of feelings, such as frustration, anger, disgust, rejected, joy, happiness, sadness, scared, and mad, etc.
14. Identify a calm down toy
Some children benefit from cuddling their teddy or another ” lovey ” tope toy.
15. Get outdoors and Exercise
Recent studies have exposed the benefit, even the necessity of spending time outdoors, both for children and adults. Try to get out as much as possible and at the very least a run in the garden may expel the ” naughty monster”.
In conclusion, I hope this helps, unfortunately, we sometimes just to wait out the ” angry moment” remember everything passes…
Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for your commitment to the wellbeing of your child and your family and for your willingness to keep learning and growing. Remember: parenting is hard work and you all deserve support. Please share the gratitude and love by sharing and liking my Facebook Page and do contact me to hear about my workshops and consultations. With Love Catherine