Self -Esteem is a theme this month for parents in my clinic.
Do you find that sometimes it’s easy to know when your child feels good about themselves, and at other times it’s hard? Self Esteem is the feelings and thoughts your child has about themselves and their capacity to achieve what they want. It’s not just about your child’s expectations and perceptions but what you, her teachers, and society all have an impact on.
Today, I want to focus on simple ways you can help now.
1. Sense of Security and Safety
Each child needs to feel valued and know that they are safe and secure in the future. They need to feel safe about what will become of them and that everything will be alright.
2. Respect and accept their feelings because this is part of who they are. Please help them be honest by giving them time to talk about their thoughts and feelings without telling them off or getting cross. Try to consider why they feel that way and what can be done.
3. Give them choices– help them find out what they do and don’t like and explore the consequences of what they do.
4. Allow plenty of chances to make mistakes and learn from them so that they begin to have the confidence to try new things and move on when things don’t go as planned.
5. Talk with them- not at them and listen to what they say even if you disagree. Try to understand what may have brought them to that view. Family Meetings are perfect for this and promote collaboration, problem-solving, etc. Check out my free download on how to set one up on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BristolChildParentSupport/
6. Have realistic expectations– don’t set too high goals, including yourself!
7. A sense of trust in you and yourself; your child needs to feel safe with you to have a sense of confidence in themselves.
8. Give lots of praise and Encouragement. Children love recognition and approval.
- Remember to praise how they do things, not just what they achieve.
- Praise the deed, not the person.
- Appreciate their efforts- even if it all goes a bit wrong!
9. Give your child a chance to be themselves– don’t compare them to siblings or friends’ children- each child is unique and special!
10. Tell them what you like about them– not just that they are good! Please explain in detail, so they get a good picture of who they are and help them to feel proud.
11. Seek their help– so they can feel valued
12. Respect their right to know what is going on in their world– don’t keep secrets but ensure that you tell them in a language they understand and save the information simply, honestly and in context.
Try to do a straightforward action today to help your child feel safe, loved and secure. With Love Catherine
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